Originally Posted by masters

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way.
So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather..
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Do not argue with an idiot.
He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you.
But it's still on the list.

We never really grow up,
we only learn how to act in public.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening',
and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk.
Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire,
but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...
does that mean that one enjoys it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Worrying works!
90% of the things I worry about never happen.

I used to be indecisive.
Now I'm not sure.

When tempted to fight fire with fire,
remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.