Warning Labels

Ever notice the disclaimer on car ads?
We see a lovely car wheeling down a country road.
At the bottom it says: "Professional driver. Closed road."
Why?

I imagine this scenario: Bubba and Junior see the ad
and try it in their neighborhood.
They flip their car and sustain severe injuries.
They hire a lawyer and sue the car manufacturer.
"Hell, I seen your ad and thunk I could do that!"
And they win!

It makes one wonder what situations
prompted the following warnings.



For external use only.
on a curling iron

Do not use in shower.
on a hair dryer

Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.
on a hand-held massaging device

Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body
they do not cover.
shin guards for bicyclists

Do not drive with sunshield in place.
Enough said!

Do not eat toner.
toner cartridge for laser printer

Not intended for highway use.
on a 13-inch wheelbarrow wheel

May irritate eyes.
can of self-defense pepper spray

Caution! Contents Hot!
Domino pizza box

Please keep out of children.
on a butcher knife

Do not use as ear plugs.
package of Silly Putty

Warning: knives are sharp!
on a sharpening stone

Remember: objects in the mirror are actually behind you.
motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror

Remove infant before folding for storage.
on a portable stroller

Do not drive or operate machinery.
on Boot's children's cough medicine

For indoor or outdoor use only.
on a string of Christmas light

Do not turn upside down.
on the bottom of a desert box

Not for human consumption.
on a package of dice

Do not eat if seal is missing.
written on said seal

Warning: May cause drowsiness.
on a bottle of Nytol

Do not put in mouth.
box of bottle rockets

Not dishwasher safe.
on a TV remote control

For lifting purposes only.
on a box for a car jack

Warning: This product can burn eyes.
on a curling iron

Do not use while sleeping
on a hair dryer

For use on animals only.
on an electric cattle prod

Not for weight control.
on a pack of Breath Savers

Turn off motor before using this product.
on packaging for a chain saw sharpener

You could be a winner!
No purchase necessary. Details inside.
on a bag of Fritos


A few of these deserve special attention . . .

Do not place lit candles on phone.
instruction for a cordless phone
Gee, I'm so glad you told me!

Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory rats.
on a box of rat poison
Really? How tragic!

Warning: do not use if you have prostrate problems.
on a box of Midol PMS relief tablets
Think about it!


And a few are deliberately humorous

Look before driving.
on the dashboard of a mail truck

Fragile: do not drop.
posted on a Boeing 757

Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.
stamped on the barrel of a .22 caliber rifle

Do not looking into the laser with the remaining eye.
on a laser pointer

In case of flood, proceed uphill.
In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly.
sign at a summer camp

No Smoking
If you must smoke, please exit quickly through
the hole that will appear in the ceiling.
sign at a storage building for flammible substances

.

Originally Posted by Soroban For indoor or outdoor use only. on a string of Christmas light

Originally Posted by Jhevon A lot of these were funny (wow, people are stupid!), but i found this one particularly curious.

Originally Posted by Jhevon A lot of these were funny (wow, people are stupid!), but i found this one particularly curious.

Originally Posted by Jhevon A lot of these were funny (wow, people are stupid!), but i found this one particularly curious.

Originally Posted by CaptainBlack The people in question are not necessarily stupid (though they might be, but be the tools of "smart" lawyers". The companies involved have money, and so are good targets for being sued. Companies have gone out of business rather than take out the insurance they needed to cover malicious litigation. You are knifed by a yob with a steak knife, do you sue him for damages - no he is a man of straw you sue the knifes manufacturer. RonL