It's One of Those Days If . . .
Your accountant's letter of resignation
is postmarked Argentina.
They pay your wages out of Petty Cash.
Your pacemaker has only a 30-day guarentee.
The candles on your cake set off the smoke alarm.
The exterminator crawls under your house
and is never seen again.
You have to hitchhike to the bank
to make your car payments.
Getting there is half the fun
and 90% of your vacation budget.
The cruise captain is running to the railing
wearing a life jacket.
You see your wife and girlfriend having lunch together.
You see your stockbroker hitchhiking out of town.
You take an assertiveness training course
and you're afraid to tell your wife.
You make more than you've ever made,
you owe more than you've ever owed,
and have less than you've ever had.
A black cat crosses your path and drops dead.
You suggestion box starts ticking.
Your secretary tells you the DA is on line 1,
the FBI is on line 2,
and 60 Minutes is on line 3.
It's One of Those Days If . . . 
Linear Mode
