That's Mathematics! - 1

Soroban · #1 $Old$ June 25th, 2009, 10:24 AM

That's Mathematics!
by Tom Lehrer
[Tune: "That's Entertainment!"]

Counting sheep
When you're trying to sleep,
Being fair
When there's something to share,
Being neat
When you're folding a sheet.
That's Mathematics!

When a ball
Bounces off of a wall,
When you cook
From a recipe book,
When you know
How much money you owe.
That's Mathematics!

How much gold can you hold
in an elephant's ear?
When it's noon on the moon,
then what time is it here?
If you could count for a year,
would you get to infinity,
Or somewhere in that vicinity?

When you choose
How much postage to use,
When you know
What's the chance it will snow,
When you bet
And you end up in debt.
Oh, try as you may,
You just can't get away
From Mathematics!

Andrew Wiles gently smiles,
Does his thing, and voila!
Q.E.D., we agree,
And we all shout hurrah!
As he confirms what Fermat
Jotted down on in that margin
Which could've used some enlargin'.

Tap your feet
Keeping time to a beat
Of a song
While you're singing along,
Harmonize
With the rest of the guys.
Yes, try as you may
You just can't get away
From Mathematics!

TheAbstractionist · #2 $Old$ June 25th, 2009, 12:22 PM

I’m a great Tom Lehrer fan – he’s written some amazing “geek” songs.

Here’s the song on YouTube.

YouTube Video

Soroban · #3 $Old$ June 25th, 2009, 01:24 PM

I've been a Tom Lehrer fan since I first heard his record
(a 10-inch LP, anyone remember those?) in the 1950s.
I have his two songbooks (there are more I hear)
and accompany myself on a baritone ukulele.
(Sadly, my voice sucks.)

I posted the lyrics to "When You Are Old and Gray" some time ago.
Another of my favorites is the following:

My Home Town

I really have yen to go back once again
Back to place where no one wears a frown.
To see once more those super-special folks
In My Home Town.

No fellow could ignore the little girl next door,
She sure looked cute in her first evening down.
Now there's a charge for what she used give for free
In My Home Town.

I remember Sam, he was the village idiot
And though it was a pity, it was so.
He loved to burn down houses just to watch the glow
And nothing could be done
Because he was the mayor's son.

The guy who taught us math that never took a bath
Attained a certain measure of renown,
And after school he sold the most amazing pictures
In My Home Town.

The fellow was no fool who taught our Sunday School,
And neither was our kindly Parson Brown
(I'll leave out this next line just to be on the safe side)
In My Home Town.

I remember Dan, the druggist on the corner, he
Was never mean or ornery, he was swell.
He killed his mother-in-law and ground up her real well,
And sprinkled just bit
On each banana split.

The guy that took a knife and mongrammed his wife
Then dropped her in the pond to watch her drown.
Oh, yes, indeed, the people there are just plain folks
In My Home Town.

Soroban · #4 $Old$ June 27th, 2009, 10:47 AM

Another Tom Lehrer classic . . .

Be Prepared

Be prepared!
That's the Boy Scout's marching song.
Be Prepared!
As through life you march along.
Be prepared to hold your liquor pretty well,
Don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell.

Be Prepared!
To hide that pack of cigarettes,
Don't make book
If you cannot cover bets.
Keep those reefers hidden so that they will not be found
And be careful not to smoke them when the scoutmaster's around
'Cause he'll only insist that they be shared.
Be Prepared!

Be Prepared!
That's the Boy Scout's solemn creed.
Be Prepared!
And be clean in word and deed.
Don't solicit for your sister ... that's not nice
Unless you get a good percentage of her price.

Be Prepared!
And be careful not to do
Your good deed
When there's no one watching you.
If you're looking for adventure of a new and different kind
And you come across a Girl Scout who is similarly inclined.
Don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared . . .
Be Prepared!